End of Break Blues

It’s funny: how much we love to anticipate life. We spend the whole week waiting for the weekend. We spend the whole fall waiting for winter break. Now that my two-week winter break is coming to an end, I’ve found that I spent much of my time dreading the end of winter break.

Now that the end is here, I’m wondering: why am I spending so much of my time wasting, dreading, anticipating, and worrying?

I have a job I love: I get to teach students and have students teach me every day. And yet: I find myself dreading going back to work tomorrow. Why?

Now that I’m actually thinking about it, I think part of it is just that I have to put on pants. A blouse. Real, adult clothes. I’ve enjoyed my sweatpants, relaxing cups of coffee, and unkempt hair a bit too much.

It’s scary to have to pull myself together Monday through Friday, and to constantly have students’ eyes on me. I am a role model. What I do matters. I am significant in the lives of about 130 students every year, every day.

My job is scary, so yes, I am afraid to go back to work tomorrow, and to have to pull on a pair of freshly ironed trousers. However, I’ll probably also button up my zebra print shirt, and I’ll probably put on a pair of mismatched socks beneath my polished up boots. I’ll pull myself together, not the self anyone else wants me to be.

I don’t yet know the lesson I’m going to teach tomorrow, but I do know this: getting the blues happens, but finding a way to see that my side of the grass is still pretty damn green? Now that’s becoming a real adult.

Tomorrow I am going to put on my adult clothes and a smile. I am going to live my life instead of wasting time worrying.

Because I am an adult.
Because I am optimistic.
Because I am significant.
Because I am enough.

I hope today you start living, really living and realize that you, believe it or not, are also an adult. You are significant. You are enough.

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Love,

Ochwoman

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